Dan, thanks for writing this. I think you are so on target. I left a church call in November which ended up being toxic.

I took time to heal and rest - which I desperately needed to do. And then to discern what was next. I knew I didn't want to go back into a "normal" congregational setting. There's nothing normal about those settings.

So I got picky. I wasn't willing to just settle and take anything. There's no reason to anymore. This is a pastor's market after all - there are more churches than pastors. I considered shifting attention to the non-profit world and even starting some kind of home church that wouldn't have all the bad habits and culture that so many churches have ingrained in their systems. I remained open to what God wanted and kept exploring. I visited churches and quickly discerned a few things.

I missed preaching. I also missed seeing a broader array of the image of God - meaning I wasn't interested in going back to a church that was all (or mostly) white, straight, middle to upper middle class, with no diversity of culture or language or sexuality. I thought that might mean the end of my time as a pastor. I made peace with that. It wouldn't be the first time I switched careers.

But I kept at the discernment process and was patient. And then one day I heard about a congregation that was diverse in a variety of ways and had an amazing ministry that served the community where it resides. It's in a section of the city that has a ton of challenges, but amazing ministry opportunities and a congregation that wants to be in the community and cares about the place where it is. It's small, but the beauty of it is that they have been through life, death, and resurrection. It used to be a large congregation, but like so many others, it dwindled. The only reason the church still exists is because of the ministry to the community that actually provides the finances to keep things going. And they know this and it changed them. It's a diverse group of people looking to be in relationship with one another, to grow in faith, and love their neighbors. What more could a pastor ask for?

I told them that I think this is a model for the future of the church - one model, not the model. The current "normal" church is going to die off as the primary way the church looks - at least I think it will. And in its place will be an array of ways that the church takes form - like this church that is small but serves the community, like house churches, like churches that become community hubs, like churches that look innovative (in the sense that they change and adapt as needed), etc. I think that's a beautiful thing. I know it's scary for many though.

But here's the thing. I think part of the challenge is that the church has done a terrible job of helping people to mourn. Our society doesn't help either. We presented the church as always looking the same for ever. It's just another bubble with terrible and faulty assumptions like any bubble. And the bubble has burst. We need to help people mourn and go through the stages of grief. What was is no longer and people need to mourn, so they can embrace what is now and what will be going forward. Some of us are excited about what the future holds for the church. I think it's a great time for the church and that the best days are yet to come. Because that's what faith in Jesus is all about.

Church won't look the same. I'm grateful for that. And we won't know what we are doing. Again, I'm grateful because it means we aren't in control. The Holy Spirit is. And we need to humble ourselves and listen and follow. The best days for the church are coming. It's not about butts in the seats and large budgets. The best days are yet to come means people who are congruent in how they live compared to what they claim to believe. That's what gets me excited. Who cares if you have 1000 people in the pews but no one actually even tries to live into what the belief is? I don't. That seems like a waste to me. Just close up shop. I'll take 30 people who are trying to live faithfully in community and in the community. They make the image of God present and the love of Jesus known far better than any any large church with a huge budget.