Enemies

Conflict is often defined by not only difference in opinions and ways of seeing things, but also by the intensity of the participants and combatants in how they conflict and interact with each other. For example, often loud, vocal protestors are met by people in opposition who respond with a loud, vocal response. Often a violent action is met with an equally violent response.

The irony of this is the such a response usually just confirms the protestors’ beliefs about the people they are protesting against — that those people are violent, rude, disrespectful, dehumanizing, etc. It gives them reason to be louder and more vocal, or even violent, in response. The same then is true of the people in opposition to those protestors. We are often looking for confirmation bias about others and what we have already concluded about them. All of this ends up being expected and predictable.

I’m using protestor and opposition here in a general sense to express the idea of two opposing sides. They could be called any number of names though — incumbent and newcomer, out of power and in power, status quo and change, etc.

What is often not expected is when one side of a conflict are met by people who remain calm in the face of opposition that tries to entice them to raise their voice or respond physically. What does someone do when they are itching for, or expecting, a fight (verbal or otherwise), and the other person instead asks questions for clarification and to understand? This response throws people off. Often, those that are expecting a fight will push a…