Great analysis. There are a lot of terrible English translations to the Bible. And then on top of that, you end up with terrible and destructive theologies to reinforce the terribleness. This is why we don't take translations literally - they are a translation, someone's judgement of what the original language could mean. Most translations have an agenda too. Which is why it is best to look at several translations, or better yet, learn the Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic and do your own translation and compare it with the other folks.

Here's the core of what it comes down to for me. Two points - 1. Is Scripture the answer book or does it give us a starting point to ask questions and be in conversation. Most Christians see it as "The bible said so, so therefore that's it." Jesus saw it different. He was a rabbi after all and Jewish rabbis saw Scripture as a starting point for a conversation and questions. If that's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me. 2. It's always best to look at Scripture through the overarching themes. One overarching theme that I see present throughout the OT, Jesus' teaching, and in the rest of the NT is the idea of Shalom. Shalom is more than a greeting. It means peace, wholeness, completeness. So when I see the verse you are talking about, I would tend to go with the translation more in alignment with Shalom. The ESV doesn't offer Shalom. It offers something other than peace or wholeness.