How to deal with stubborn and resistant people
Humanity has been full of folks who are stubborn and resistant. This is not new. As long as there have been humans, there has been stubbornness and resistance. As long as there are humans, those things will exist. We aren’t going to eliminate stubbornness and resistance. We can’t make it go away by just being nice to people in the hopes that they will change. We can’t make it go away by trying to eliminate all the stubborn and resistant people either.
So the question is — what do we do? How do you proceed when you encounter someone who is stubborn and resistant?
First, let’s acknowledge something unpleasant — Stubborn and resistant people include you and I as well. We don’t like to consider ourselves stubborn and resistant, but I’m willing to bet that you have been those things. I know I have plenty of times. This means that stubborn and resistant people aren’t bad or evil, just as you and I are not evil just because we have been stubborn and resistant.
People are complicated and their lives are messy. There are many reasons why someone becomes stubborn and resistant. Maybe someone broke their trust with that person. Maybe they screwed over on something. Maybe they suffered a loss. Maybe they live in fear. Who knows. It helps us to see the image of God in stubborn and resistant people. It humanizes the person and allows us to see their humanity and how connected we are to them. It changes us. It allows us to see that fighting the stubbornness and resistance is not the goal. You don’t go through pothole when you are driving, you go around it. Likewise, you don’t try to do a frontal assault on stubbornness and resistance, you go around it.
Here’s one way to deal with someone who is stubborn and resistant — pay attention and study that person. Are they very vocal in their resistance and stubbornness? Do they try to bully others into staying with their way? Always survey the scene to gain an understanding of what it going on. Once you have an understanding of the context, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation and with the person who is stubborn and resistant.
Those that are most resistant, the most vocal, those inclined to use bullying tactics to get their way are really not confident of their way. So they turn to the use of force to compel others to change to adopt their way. The idea being that there can’t be a judgement of ways if only one way is adopted. There is nothing to compare it to. It…