I hear what you are saying. I mourn so much of what Christianity has become in the US - at least the vocal portion of it that is offensive and harmful in so many ways. I actually have a theory that I keep playing with which is that what the church is experiencing in the loss of membership is a type of pruning that is taking place. Pruning is about cutting away not only the dead, but also the living parts that are not helpful to the life of the organism. And when you prune, the plant looks like it's dead. But the pruning is needed. I think there's a whole lot of pruning of the church that needs to take place, and we aren't even close to it being done. After the pruning is done, the church will look far different. And hopefully be different. My hope is that most of the toxicity will be pruned away.