Stages of Grief and COVID

This pandemic has been going on for what feels like a long time. Here in Central PA we are entering month 19. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way — That COVID is a mass trauma event and we suck at grieving the loss of normal.

So many still think that we are going back to whatever it was before COVID hit. Too many think that pre-COVID was normal. It wasn’t, it was just the norm we had adopted. And when the pandemic hit that norm no longer worked. It wasn’t normal or healthy to begin with, so no wonder it didn’t work.

We haven’t taken the time to mourn that norm that we were encrusted in and considered to be normal. I think we’re going through the stages of grief without really talking about it.

Depending on who you read, you’ll come across a variety of lists about the stages of grief. Here’s a list I like:

What I observe is that we have many people who are all over those stages. Just like all people who grieve, there isn’t a nice set pattern or length of time in grieving.

I have encountered many people who deny that COVID is real. It’s not really about COVID though — it’s about denial that something has changed and the person no longer feels like they are in control.

I have encountered angry people — angry over masks and vaccinations. Again, it’s not really about masks and vaccinations — they are grieving the loss of whatever control they thought they had.